From Robert: For most men, at least in my view, we tend to stay separate and aloof, and we seem to think that by hiding our feelings (and our fears) we can remain safe. We have further been engrained with the idea that to share anything that relates to these feelings and fears is indicative of weakness. On the weekend of “True Man’s Power”, organized by Sandy Levey-Lunden and hosted by Jack Shupe, I came away with strong evidence that the exact opposite is true. A man can be safe with other men for the simple reason we are all the same…effectively all brothers.

Each of the participants shared deeply from their lives and came to the common discovery that we all face, or faced, the same basic issues; feelings of abandonment, rejection, betrayal, and deep seated beliefs around sex and sexuality. We also uncovered a myriad of other issues around relationships, both with spouses (past and present) as well as many other familial. and non-familial. relationships. We found that without having some guidance we were locked in a pattern of repeating the same problems and behaviors, time after time, always believing that there can be a different outcome, which is totally insane, and probably the best definition of it. I found that all the fears I hid within for years were identical to the fears held by my brothers, and to find this out was a great relief and an opportunity for equally great release. With few exceptions we all had some level of negative interactions with parents, wives, and loved ones lost to premature death. To know this is a common pain was to allow a common bond…and bond we did. By the end of the weekend there was not a man in the group that did not feel like an integral part of the others. It is so much easier to bear a burden when another is helping you carry it. It was equally exciting to find that many of us also had very pleasant common life experiences and to share those was indeed a delight. I had never thought much about my past relationships, especially as a child. I always sensed that most of my memories were negative and painful. During a shared exercise I discovered that I had some wonderful memories as a child with my grandfather. Hearing my brothers share the painful and the joyful, allowed me to find my joyful memories as well. To all that participated, I offer my deepest thanks.